New 4×10 schedule, and the baby

I’ve recently gotten approval at my job to work four ten-hour days rather than five eight-hour days. This allows me to visit Alex once on the weekend, and another time mid-week. It’s really nice to not have to feel like I need to get a minimum of 2-3 hours in any visit or else “waste” a week. It’s also nice not to have to feel like missing a visit is the end of the world. If we get sick or something, we can still see Alex once during the week rather than having a two-week span with him wondering where his family is.

And of course it’s nice just to know that Alex will see somebody who loves him more often.

One place this will really make a difference is the new baby. Late December or early January, my wife and I had several conversations about Alex’s placement. It took us nearly a year, but we had to finally accept that it wasn’t going to change. Not short-term, not long-term. He is almost certainly never coming home again, period. This meant it was time to re-think a decision we had once made – never to have another child. Alex’s care demanded too much of us, and while my wife always wanted a third child, it just wasn’t an option with the challenges we were already facing.

We talked a long time, and in the end decided to try for our third. My wife got pregnant in February, and will deliver pretty much any day now. I was very worried that this would mean less time with Alex for a while. But with my 4×10 schedule, I think I will be able to visit Alex at least once a week even during the first few months, and possibly twice a week when things are going well.

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