As for the growing, I could probably learn it, but we’re living in a rental and have about fifteen neighbors who could see our yard easily at any time. There’s no guarantee our landlord wouldn’t just kick us out.

Finally, bringing Alex home just isn’t likely at this point. I think maybe we could have kept him with us longer if we’d been able to get things figured out a lot sooner, but at this point it’s just not an option. If we take him home and we can’t keep him safe, we’re on a waiting list to get him placed again, and that could mean being out of work for anywhere from a week to a few months. I also took a lower-paying job to get moved up here, and our home is smaller, so we don’t have any bedroom that could really fit Alex and I very well. Worse still is that even during his happy moments, Alex sometimes just gets too intense and hurts people.

Losing Alex was inevitable — we just thought we had more time with him. And in my opinion, more information and easier access to cannabis about two or three years ago would have helped tremendously.